018 [Video]

[deathsdoctor]

[Law’s journal clicks on, thanks to the meddling of two annoying houseguests, far, far away from the man (who is manfully restraining some violent urges towards his visitors.), and records the following conversation.]

*Hic* - Hey! Hey, Jack! You gotta try this orange soda. It’s got some kick.

Santa’s going to be mad at you. No drinking on the job! … uh, where did you find that stuff, anyway?

[Inquiring elves want to know, okay?]

Friiiiiiiiidge.

… yeah. Just... don't touch anything in there anymore. Now where did those two goo--- oh? Did you hear that? Mike? [The faint sound of high pitched mewing.] Chris Christmas! MIKE! Get back here. We’re on a mission!

KITTENS!

That’s very nice, Mike. Now leave them alone before the mama… oh dear… mommy cats--- MIKE, JUST RUN!

… a~aah… *hic*?

….

AAAAH!

Good kitties! NICE KITTI---AIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

... every year. Hang on Mike, I'm coming!



[Footsteps sound and the journal is picked up, revealing a green clad elf brandishing a candy cane wildly and danging in air by the collar from a gray cat's mouth, while a red clad elf is sobbing hysterically under the paw of a black cat surrounded by her three kittens, just a day old.

Law sighs loudly. Cranky pirate captain doctor is cranky:]

Troublesome. What have you gotten into now? We were trying to sleep.

H-hey, you! Get us out of here! We'll put in a good word with Santa for you and your boyfriend! [DON'T LET THEM EAT US!] ... p-please? We won't even tell him about that naughty book you have. Come on...

... and if all I want is for you two to leave and never come back?

... uh... but... Santa... ugh, you're in so much trouble, Mike... ..n..noo... If you don't do this, you'll end on the naughty list! Santa's watching!

... hn. [Yeah... that's really helping your case, fellas.] Fine.

[The journal cuts off.]

Comments

[Video]

[fierybluebird]

[Laughs cheerfully.]

Having fun with the gnomes?

[deathsdoctor]

Elf, Mister. Elf. [SNIFF.] We'e not those other guys! [GAWD.]

... shouldn't you be more worried about getting out of Amaya's jaws?

... ahaha...aha... please...

More annoying than entertaining, sadly... the cats on the other hand? They seem to like them.

[Here kitty, kitty, kitty. Ultimately Law doesn't want to scrub elf guts out of his carpet.]

[fierybluebird]

Elves then, my mistake.

So new cat-toys, eh? Saves on birds and feathers at least.

[yourhatred]

...Hn.

[Itachi appears, hands in his pockets, watching the display with all the interest one might show a couple flies that had managed to get inside through an open window, face deadpan.

He's far too used to the strange going-ons in this place.]

There appear to be little men in the house. [So matter-of-fact.]

[deathsdoctor]

Neither of them go after birds, thankfully for the crows that are around here. Itachi wouldn't want them being hunted.

T-t-t-toys? [SQUEAK.]

... mmhhmm. Thinking about it. The girls have been really, really good after all.

[fierybluebird]

Good. That bodes well for my tail feathers, eh? And I was always fond of crows too.

[Grins evilly as Law tortures the poor elves. Which get his own elf making a check-mark on a pad of paper in the corner behind him.]

They do rather look like colorful mice, eh? I can understand why the cats would have trouble distinguishing.

[deathsdoctor]

... nosy little men. They've been through all our stuff. [Yeah, Law's not too thrilled about all this. Meanwhile Amaya shakes her head from side to side, causing the elf in her jaws to screech and she pads forwards. Lookit what I caught.

So far she been resisting all Law's attempts to coax her prize from her. Because it's her prey and therefore it belongs to her!]

Apparently they were bothering the kittens and...

[WHELP.]

[yourhatred]

[Itachi bends down and holds out a hand, no words needed after a significant glance at the cat.

Amaya pads over and proudly deposits her catch into his open palm.]

[deathsdoctor]

[They're probably so deep on this 'Naughty' list of theirs, there's no getting out. Oh well.]

They're squeaky too. Music to their ears. [Trying to coax Amaya closer once more. The cat prances out of range. Mine. Mineeee. With her elf squeaking in fear.]

The only bad thing is I'm out of carpet cleaner.

[fierybluebird]

Want me to go pick some up? I gotta look for a few last minute presents anyway, eh?

[Marco's card is just weird. His elf figured out that Marco would follow all the good suggestions... only so long as they weren't suggested as anything more than a reminder as if he was already going to do them. :| Which, to be fair, Marco was. His naughty list is keeping a pretty high tally with the good though.]

[deathsdoctor]

About time. You [Pointing at Law.] were no help. I know which list you're going on.

That's fine. You were being plenty naughty yourselves with invading our privacy.

[To Itachi:] Thanks. Now...

Jaaaaack? Guuuuuuuuuuys? Little help *hic* here? [He's still under Sumire's paw, her grey kitten giving him a tentative poke with his paw.]

... for the other one...

[deathsdoctor]

Sure. That'll be a great help.

[Written]

[complicatedliar]

Kittens?

[Written]

[deathsdoctor]

Kittens. Just born yesterday. [Please ignore the sounds of elf whimpering in the background. While Law is out of carpet cleaner and doesn't want to see a mess... the elves have been completely disrespectful of the household's right to privacy. So he isn't in a hurry. Amaya and Sumire are just playing for now.]

[spohkh]

Greetings Doctor Law... you have kittens?

[fierybluebird]

No problem matey. Although hopefully the elf won't get eaten yet, eh? Much as I enjoy a good elf snuff film as much as the next person, you never know, they might actually bring a present you want from home.

[Voice]

[endgames]

Knew it.

[Written]

[complicatedliar]

Have you found homes for them yet?

[Voice]

[deathsdoctor]

Hmmmm?

[Somewhat distracted. You know how hard it can be to get something away from Kenta when he's taken a fancy to something. He's trying to get his girls to give up their elf toys.]

[Voice]

[endgames]

[Usually his game pieces.]

Not important. [He makes a waving motion at the journal feed with his fingers.] Those things made of catnip, or what?

[Written]

[deathsdoctor]

Not yet. It's been a busy month.

[deathsdoctor]

I have kittens. [Oh hi there. Long time no see.] My cat just gave birth to them yesterday.

[Journal pan to the three snuggled around Sumire. One black, one grey, one black tabby. And one red clad elf trapped underneath the paw of the mama cat, staring up at the black cat in fright.

Sumire is quite content to keep the elf pinned for now.]

Cute, aren't they?

[spohkh]

[Vulcan's would not normally designate anything as cute....however... he was rather fond of cats.]

Indeed... do you plan to keep them all?

[deathsdoctor]

[Law laughs] Mister Marco, I'm not going to let the elves get eaten. That would be a horrible thing all around.

[deathsdoctor]

No. They're all going to good homes as soon as they're old enough to leave their mother.